New Year's eve.

ahh...the first day of 2008. i hope its a better year..it'll BETTER be. lol

woke up at 1pm today. yest i've got back from my work at 4am.and today..i woke up with sore shoulders and a very tired body.

i've followed Michael with Brian and Ee Yin to shoot a countdown concert in Sg Wang, bkt bintang area. its sponsored by Magnum, CMG and Digi..well..anyone wants to catch a rerun..catch it on 8tv.

the day starts when i woke up at 10.30am, charging all my batteries..i charged since yest. make sure my camera is working well etc. then head down to midvalley to meet up with my cousins n aunts. Riana tagged along coz she dun wanna stay at home rot on her bday(yes, her bday is on 31st Dec)so went shopping for a while..in Zara, i found this plain black dress..its so nice coz its plain.and i love the cutting..it fits me like a glove. the material is so soft and comfortable to wear..i was tempted to buy it but i have lots of dresses that is yet to be wore so i did not buy it..T_T must have self control..LOL

then at two pm sumthin, we head back..change, grab my gadgets and head dwn to bdr Tasik Selatan LRT station. drop at hang tuah station, meet Brian there (hello brian, reading my blog? sorry no pics yet..i want my SOler pics!lol) walk to Sg wang..met Michael there and he brief us. we took sum pre concert pics..then go makan free at U cafe( thank you, Sg Wang) then rush to take sum pics on Soul Skaters..saw sumone fammiliar..it was Joe..or was it? not NOTTINGHAM punya joe..iesh.then VI brass band performing..( okok..pics later..havent upload..nid to go through 400 pics..!)

( soulz skaters doin their stunts)

then the Digi celebs performance..then oni at 9.30pm, the real party begins.Performance by artists like Orange, erm..local ones la..sum duno their name aso..i dont really listen to chinese songs.erm..justin yea..he's cool..teh best one that i enjoy taking was SOler..really cool good looking singers. and i mean really. they are portugese mix chinese.then there is Gary, and one cool dude name Jin. he's a ABC..which one of his songs that he sang was title ABC..ok...the title is lame but his style of rapping is not bad. its cleAR and smooth.when we were taking pics halfway..it rained..my camera was wet..so scared that it would be spoiled but the show must go on. my pics went kinda bad that time coz i panicked abit.

then it came to an end..fireworks and all..well..that time went i was taking pics then everybody was in silence to watch in awe as the fireworks display is on full blast. i stood there and it finally dawn to me..it is new year. i just stood there while people were wishing each other and hugging and all. i never felt so lonely in my entire life even though there are almost 50 000 people on that street celebrating together. to distract myslf from being too emotional..i just cont shooting ppl's expressions..this is the first year that im not celebrating new year with my frens.

after everyting..we went to Parkroyal for early 'breakfast' lol..specially for ppl who's working for that event la..so we ate..took pics of celebs..took a few pics witht them..give pics to michael..then head back home..brian fetched me home( thank you) and i reached home bout 3.55am. showered then sleep until the next afternoon.

to those that i havent wish happy new year to u..im sorry..lol..i was half texting while waiting for shoots..well guys and gurls..HAve a Very Blessed New Year Ahead..! it BETTER be.lol~

im off!

heart conversation.

i went to KLCC petronas art gallery today just after church.

its very interesting..one really captured my heart.

it a simple set up.. two chairs and to sethoscope.im sorry if the spelling is not correct. but its a tool where doctors used to hear ur heartbeat and lungs n so forth.

the title of the art is..heart conversation.

what u do is..sit opposite of each other and put those sethoscope on and hear the opposite person's heartbeat. then look at each other's eyes and talk to each other mentally.

when i did this..i felt like crying..coz..the experience is..u can tell anything to the opposite person..anything tell him/her mentally while staring into his/her eyes.

anyone..if u dont dare to express ur feelings to anyone..try this. its effective.

deafening silence.

the word love is a overkill word.

help. i'm lost. i need help. who can save me? im goin crazy..thoughts swimming in my mind...refuse to go..hatred is hidden deep inside my so..so deep it hurts..ppl think that im ok..independent..rich..capable...but u noe what ...all of it that u guys see outside of me is utterly fake.u dont want to be in my shoes...u think its fun to be kuan pei wern?u think that i am..of those above..yea rite...im not alright...im confused..what do u want..what do i want? do i sound like some derange woman typing..? i duno..i felt like one now..no wonder no one likes me at all... all of them were faking..wearing masks...faking...the world is fake...kiss ass world..u got sumthin..will talk to u nicely n sweetly..if u nid help..hell!fuck off.thats whta most of them say in their mind anyway.what love? u mean those ppl hu gets all nice to u to get back sumthin in order...what? popularity? sex? money? status? company?anyway..people would think that way..but not all..but most.ur not pretty..so ppl dont give a fuck unless u are kick ass pretty. special treatment by guys? yea...unless ur not fuckingly ugly. no..i refuse to use the word fugly. its just fuckingly ugly. guys? the guy that i am in love with left me and wont be coming back.useless me, why am i still thinking bout him when he was the one that dont even want me? i see him almost every week, can one person go nuts like that? he is the only one that can hurt me without doin anything..i found out that i love him more than anything..but so what? its no use. he's not coming back.what? other guys?im tired of other guys..what they want..im tired of those. want my heart..here..and dont forget to ripped it open after u've used it. what? my body..?sorry i dont sell my body but u can get it somebody else body with a price in chow kit road..what? what more do u want..?they also have the same body as i have to stuck whtever u want in order to satisfy urslves. its always the same thing with those guys. but other type of guys? u just want some decent gurl..guai guai..V, and what else? fair gurl..big eye..what else? super gurly to 'teh' wit..what else? its always all these qualities..hello? have u ever heard of the words like original? Unique? gurls like me? dark, not pretty, sarcastic, rude( if u are too me),not smart..have no place in this world. so better just put me into a box and let me rot? the world's a better place without me right? wait..the world dont even know i exist..why i am here? Lord...im so lost...

ok.i've been tag..so wats next?LOL

call me a noobie in blog..i seriously duno whats tag until my oh-so-Smmmart-gurlfren told me..lol

anyway..here goes.

5 things found in my bag:
- wallet!i use guys wallet..no purse.Volcom rawks..!lol duhhhh...
- erm..tissue?
- phone la..
- erm erm..my asthma inhaler..?(in case sum guy is too hot..make me got asthma..!lol)
- wad else ar? wad? i dont carry make up alrite..unless im clubbin.

5 things found in my purse :
- wallet..*sweat. erm.. its all bout the money $$$$
- my driving license,ID card,IC,credit card(emergency!)lol..touch n go,CARDS.
- yea..i aso got guitar pick.but i dont use it..just keepin it coz i like to play using my fingers.
- my old pics of me.lol..
- frens bday list..and cafe money!lol

5 favorite things in my room :
- my bed!awww...dont think dirty. got lots of memories on that bed.lol
- my closet full of clothes..seriously.
- my books! ahh...comics, notebooks..u name it..!
- my desktop too..
- the whole build-in closet..the curtains..everything..

5 things I've always wanted to do :
- dance my heart out to Jesus with the song 'everything' by lifehouse in a field one morning.
- watch the sky n clouds with five of my favourite frens in a field and chat.
- spend all my life with the one God has prepared for me and serve Him together.
- dance with my boy..
- have my own art gallery show.

5 things I'm currently into:
- facebook.lol..yeayea..
- dresses.
- sleep.lol
- exam. have too laaa!
- erm..self realization?


5 people I'm gonna tag:
piggie, celest, kee aun, erm erm..duno? ect ect?

i dont believe in Innocence.

back from Maison just awhile ago.

for everyone's infomation. yea, this is my first trip to the club. (Luna Bar is a Bar) so Maison the first club that i've ever been too.

the interior is good..the exterior look is nice..like its name, Maison is a french word for House. it looks like a french house.

i went with a few frens of mine. my all time favourite drum instructor, Mun Yee n sis cant make it. i was actually looking forward to club with them. anyway, Me, my sis, sonia and siew ling n riana were the gurls. later, we met Fabian n Kevin Wong n Jason Ho.

there's not much life until its 12am..whereby im waiting for ppl to make it to the dance floor. we drank n dance. i didnt drink enuf to cover the things that i saw in that club. i saw ppl hugging n kissing and dirty dancing. i saw ppl groping my fren. i saw ppl taking opportunity to dance close enuf to us just to have a clear view of our cleveage. oh..my frens bosoms are incredible, cant blame them. i stare at them too. hahahaha..no. im not drunk.and im no lesbo.

things i hate bout clubbing. FAggots..the whole nation of them.ppl who swears like nobody's business..lol...n sum gurls wearing slutty clothes..really..i saw this gurl..LOL...she's drunk and she's underage i think. we start swearin and her one piece black dress was like so short..she's like wearinn only a t-shirt instead of a dress.(tight one too)and she propped her leg on another chair while sitting outside the club. wow...free view for everyone. i would like to see if she's wearin any undies but i was to emo that time that doing that.

the whole nite. i was thinking of you.. i hate it that u came back into my mind again like u used too. i like sumone else dy but why are u still here in my mind? its so confusing. its never ending..



its great to dance n drink with the people u know really well. suggestion= go with ur church youths. at least one stumbles, many still can lead him/her back. the whole nite, i was thinking of him.

whats the big deal wehh..?

sigh...its christmas week and almost everybody treats it like its Valentine's Day for Pete's sake.

weird but true, in japan..(from a very true source of a fren who lives in Japan for 6 years) the idea of Christmas is actually spending a day with your other special half going window shoppin and last..the finale, sharing a white icing cream cake with strawberries on top.

Yea. its so SWEET its giving DIABETES just thinking about it.( Daesi,2007)
okok...im being really bad now..LOL

anyway..conclusion is,its like Valentines DAy celebration in Japan for Christmas Day.Look, whoever gave them these idea must be a estatic-money-making cheater..or a BAKER...who invented or start a trend on eating white icing cream strawberry cake.

But hey..trends travel miles..looks like Malaysia is goin to take up this habit too..but minus the cake.

sigh. you can say that im just a neurotic-single-jealous-of-frens-romantic-life-gurl..

WADEVER..! lol...pei wern,signin off.

Christmas Eve 07

yesterday was alrite.

invite some of my youths to my house..enjoying partying..lol

Brandon brought Xbox 360..i enjoyed being a sadist that nite..LOL...hitting those bunnies in Rayman! lol..

we played monopoly also..i was declared bankrup that nite! bugger! MIchael Sin aka pastor won all our money...sheesh..cut us sum slack dude!lol, i'm not sellin my Mayfair to anyone! we were all high from drinks so we kinda played like we're in the market..LOl

and most of all..we all drank! sheridans to gordon bleu to red wine..haha no one was drunk but all were high..

the True MEaning of CHristmas.

great nite! but MOST importantly, Christmas WONT be Christmas without JESUS CHRIST whom he was born into this earth to DIE for ALL or YOUR sins and MINE almost 2000 years ago. He is STILL the reason why we celebrate Christmas! dun ever forget that..!

sigh..since everyone is wishin everyone merry X'mas..there's like no meaning to it anymore..so i dislike using Xmas..coz its so commercialize and artificial.GIve a lil respect for christmas here! its not so authentic anymore. I used to remember that when i was a lil kid bout 4 to 5 years old, i LOVE christmas..ok..thats and understatement..!lol I ABSOLUTELY faNatic about CHRISTMAS. me n my sisters would set up the christmas tree with my parents then we would take out our LEGGO's to build toys like elves in North Pole. and my mom would always play CHristmas songs..and sumtimes i would sit below the tree and i could really felt what CHRISTMAS is really like! and shopping malls would be filled with Christmas songs and my dad would bring us to SHopping malls to grab our CHRSITMAS PRESENTS.lol..and in CHristmas MOrn! me n my sis would watch CHRISTMAS CARTOONS on TV all morning..but when today i woke up..i swtch on the telly, and there's no more CHristmas CArtoons..not even DISNEY! (shame on YOU, disney channel!) anyways...christmas is change..it shouldnt..even when ur 90...christmas should still be celebrated traditionally n spiritualy..not commercially.

okey..ive spoke my mind..to everyone reading this..

MERRY BLESSED CHRISTMAS!

im off!

TOP 5 things that i would Love to do.

1. Listening to Lifehouse song, "everything" and dance my heart out for Jesus in a field in one morning.

2. Lie on the field with five other close frens and talk while trying to figure out what shape of the clouds in the sky looks like.

3. Go on a art museum date and listen to bossa novas and latin jazz in a cafe while reading a good paperback.

4. Go to a beach and spend my late afternoon and evening observing shellfish and other creatures on the beach.

5. watch the sunset with my close frens in a playground.

sweet memories

okie..i admit..i cant help feeling abit of emo because im listening to bossanovas..Named 'Sweet Memories' by Olivia Ong..its in japanese..so it just influence my mood but not what im goin to write..

anyway, today it's 22nd of december '07..

its nearing the new year, whereby..:

1.I would turn..19 (*gasp) in exactly 2 weeks from now.

2.I would have to face my test...partially prepared on 7th January '08.

3.It's a freaking new year with new resolutions!

4.I'm goin to finish my foundation this year..i HOPE.

sigh..im that old dy...another year would be twenty..!i'm wondering wads gonna be in 2008. Lalala..~

and..yesh. He is on my mind rite now..but he's far far away now.. kinda miss him >_<

okey..i think i'm off for tonite.

if u want to listen what i'm listening when im writing this..feel free =)

addicted to this..

haha..i just love this song..

this is an inside personal dream of mine..lol..that this song..would be played instead of the ''wedding march'' song that they usually play when the bride is walking to the groom..but wait, why am i talking out all this when i dont even have anyone now?haha..then,Let Me find the One first..then it could be a step closer to playing this at my wedding..if i had one? =) here's the lyrics..the song can be played on the side bar below my pets. enjoy!


You and Me- Lifehouse

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

man..>! you've gotta watch this...super awesome..!

the 1st time ive watch it, i ve watched it in my computer lab..then no sound la...

afterthat...i ve forgotten bout it..until my bro sent it to me..awesome...then i found out its song by lifehouse..very meaningful too me.. so that's why im sharing it to all of you! enjoy...

hmm..guys with these. im attracted to them.

guys with these things listed below..im darn attracted to them...
(im single...i can say what i want, cant I?)

*guys..dont take this to seriously..if u think that u MAY have these qualities..dont SELF 'Perasan' that im always..like...lookin at your ASS? maybe once or twice...but im not a pervert. alrite?

ahahah..u may have them, but its just not what im only looking at alrite?

haha...this would be interesting.

i'm attracted to guys with...

physically:

1. decent looking face? ( a face that would NOT scared the hell outha my parents please)
2. great shoulders.(mmmM..)
3. great ass.( ahahaha...*)
4. i like eyes like this...only when they smile please..--> ~_~ ( sooo cute!!* gushing)
5. i like guy's fingers..palm..hand..i have no specific kinda wants in this part of the body.

* dont even ask me bout other parts of the body please. i dont want to sound like im super horny or wad..*lols..

Mentally:

1. sound please..im not attracted to NUTheads..or Dickheads.
2. at least have some brains abit?
3. i love debating on most random stuffs like...from religion and philosophy..and some weird general knowledge.

Emotionally:

1. stable.
2. able to take sarcastic jokes from me. (hmm..LORD, when will i have a guy who has this GIFT?)

Characteristics:

1. good to parents..respect them!
2. a guy who can hear me out with patience.
3. truthful ( i noe truth hurts, if that guy told me sumthin that hurts me, wont talk to him for awhile...dont mean that i completely tuned out on him alrite? i like to think..ponder n sumtimes avoid an argument..let myslf cool dwn for abit)
4. nice to everybody please...not only to me like some typical guys who only treat good to the ones that they wanna 'kau'
5. thoughful( wow...this...is really hard to get)
6. mature ( knows when to have fun.. and time to have serious talks)
(knows how to manage himslf properly)
7. OBSERVANT!!! yea...is that the spelling?hmm...minor case of dylexic..sorry
8. hardworking..he's not smart..?its ok..as long as he's not afraid to work.

ONE more VERY important stuff...

LOVE God with all his strength, heart, mind, and soul. Never be to sissy to admit that he loves Jesus. NO NATOS..(No Action, Talk Only) SHOW it by serving in church!

*btw, this is wad most attracts me.. he MUST be a servant of GOd.

sigh...there you are...all the list that ive compiled..lol
hope the guys wont be so perasan thought that he has everything and he stop talking to be CAUSE he thinks that im actually Hinting to him that im Eye-ing him...Aww~

but guess wad... NOT!

coz...things can change..things like this CAN be compromise. its just a rough guidelines that i have. some are just for laughs...for the physical part..lol

BUT one thing i cant compromise..is that he MUST be a servant of GOD.

amen to that.

im off..!

nah...just feeling crappy again.

my title of my post today kinda said it all. lol...

just crappy. worn out. confused. frusfrated.

if i keep on goin to be like this...

1. no friends
2. my age will speed up.
3. crazy
4. fall sick...AGAIN.

i think i need sum alcohol.
*laugh nervously..i wont.

u have this guy. he likes you. he cares for you. but...there's somethin missing. u think that ur not his type or vice versa. u feel attracted to this guy, but he has nothin to do with you. both have the important quality that u really want in a guy. then wad's with your ex? he's like..gone for 6 months. he wont..be coming back..Is he? Bugger...! he is NOT coming back..what part of it did u not understand?? thats why part of you dont want to commit. why?

1. u would make the wrong choices.
if u choose the 1st guy, he would GET really HURt.. really.

2. forget it..the second guy dont even care. he dont even noe that your actually falling for him. why are u putting yourslf in that situation where 90 percent ur goin to get rejected by him? and when do u even tell or ask? u always prefer that a guy would make the move 1st. n your NOT his type.

3. ur Ex? come onn!!! move on already..and why do u even reconsider as he's the one that dumped u 1st?

PINK...sheesh

haha...the only PINK that i like is PINK as in the artist.

FIRST of all...dont let the Pink fool you..im not the gurly gurl that u find gushing over ...em...Everything..lol...

Im not trying to be-little the gurls out there who does that..just trying to justify to some people that had known me for so long..they would probably find it weird for them to see my blog in pink.. =)

pink pink pink...i have no I-D-E-A why i choose this template...i want custome made ones...those cool ones..but i cant seem to download it..sigh. so i end up in PINK..(dun laugh please, even i noe that u ppl reading this would laugh) LOL...!

Mabel is back in action..!Gosh,its been weeks i've blogged..and im getting addicted to it...thank God that i havent signup for FACEBOOK yet...LOL..more later...Ciaoz!