Sunday, October 26, 2008

emotions.

its just emotions taking me over, caught up in sorrows, lost in a song, if you were come back, come home to me darling, nobody left to whisper, hold me tight, there's nobody left to kiss me, hold me tight, gnite , nite , nite.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Christmas on October.

its..3.40am.

and im listening to Christmas songs..lol.

when i listened to the song, "have yourself a merry lil christmas"

chatting with Van, Shih Chung and Joseph..ahh..damn emo la.

i left my handphone on mun yee's car..ahahaa...shit.

i love indie jazz. =)

Friday, October 24, 2008

fcuked up me.

fucking my own life enough. why do i involve others?

everything is my own doing.

i wish to be alone. i want to do my assignments.

let me fuck my own life.

i dont deserve everything every guy that crossed my path.

go, go away before i fucked up your life.

random-nya.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

What Kuan Pei Wern Means

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.
(ahahaa...yea..i got alot of ppl telling me i got LC face..but its my face!! T_T sad..face prob.lol)

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
(wah..this is so wrong weh..lol..i got LOtsa worries.)
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. (what luck? bad luck ar? bwahahaah)

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
(yea..but im not a perfectionist, only on certain situations or circumstances)
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
(ahaha...quite true with the imaginative part..lol..)
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. (i am very paranoid, jealousy..yea)

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.
Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.
( but i cant solve my own bloody probs)
Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest. (yea..i admit sumtimes i do)

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
im quite cold sumtimes..not always warm)
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. (when im flaky, im sugar-high! XD)

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. (yea..true true)
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. (this explains everything...*sigh)
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. (procrastination? not really my big prob, so not really true.)

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts. (then why do i always broke my own? bwahahahahaa..damn farny la.)
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!
(sweat..lol...)

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
( very true? esp the ''people cant handle me" im a tyrant..lol )

GG-day.com (this is for you, Gary! bwahahaha)

ahahaha..look at the name and i started laughing.

its been long i laugh so much. i really laugh till i cried that day. =D

it was thursday
as usual,very thursday i have Quantitative MEd which oni students that are weak in maths suppose to take. so, among my frens and coursemates, im the only one that is taking in my group of frens. not that its bad, it actually quite ok since i get to do revision and preparing myself for the next QM 2a next sem. in this module, we have to take 8 tests that consists of 20 percent of our overall percentage in this module..so every week starting from last week, i have tests on thurs. my frens majority of them had to take Business Law a..secretly..i rather take that sub coz numbers is not my thing..im more of a word person. =)

after the test, which we were tested on logs and index is it? yea...it suck.. i dun like logs. uhh.. later i went to sports complex and decide to have a go on the punching bag again.. =) but its occupied by a guy.. =( so i end up in the ping pong room watching Farrah and ALice practicing for their competition. the winner app get to represent uni.. cool..=)

so after that, i went jogging..around the lake. this reminded me of my previous roomate,(I1b59c, i will always remember =)) VANESSA..god. i miss her. T_T she's in Manchester now. she always jog in the eve..that time i was super lazy to jog but on thurs i had a sudden urge to jog so i went. after jogging for 2 rounds around the lake, i bumped into Jhen then we had a long chat..we should do that sum time again, Jhen. =) it was nice talking to you. ( im here to talk when u nid to) =) gurlfrens are forever.

then forgotten about the time! suppsoe to go to CK's house for steamboat...!!!! =)))
then rush back to my room and showered and wait for shi wei and alice.. =) of we go..
eat eat eat. the guys are good in cooking, i must admit.. LOL..then ate, socialise, then clean up. Gary went to watch movie with another group of frens so we kept sum things for him and other things is waiting for him too..cut the story short, he was drenched in water as we bombared him with water and all..lol he was force to take a shower only to eat while we watch sum british movie together with the rest of the people. it was freaking funny, i love british humour..LOL

after the movie, i drove back to uni and drop of shi wei and alice since they were tired. then i head off with a bunch of crazy people to warung..lol then makan and drink again...wa..goin out with them sure super fat weh...LOL mental note..JOg more from now on..LOL i've forgotten how crazy it was to hang out with a bunch of guys for a very long time. then we head back to their house again then this time we had a settlement with Faith, wei en and me since we're all illegal temp occupants..lol to conquer a sleeping bag, mein's blanket, pillow, and bed. (also him..but he's not really an 'Hot item' for this challenge..LOL) XD

In the end, FAith won the sleeping bag, i won the bed and wei en won Mein...LOL..JK la..LOL) the funniest thing was Gary was addicted to the word DOT COM after the Dota Championship..btw, they got 2nd.lol...win money weh..aw.. so everything he say must end with dot com..LOL really funny...XD so as we were deciding who's getting what item by a game of Chor Dai Di..and Mein asked us what were we playing since he was busyin himself by mopping the floor and gary replied him...we're playing Chor Dai Di DOT COM bugger, Mein tot its a new online game or sumthin..LOL..and he ask how to play, we were stone for a moment and we all burst out laughing. if ur there, it'll be funnier. XD

after that we started our Dota session with the Dota championship guys, damn pressured weh..lol. but in the end we end up playing with AIs.. so its not so bad..lol..insane players. halfway thru we got DC-ed then we have to start all over again..it was sad coz when it DC-ed, i almost pawn that bloodsucker..aloneee....my personal victory...arrrr...lol..then we restarted. later, all went to sleep. except for James. we slept at 5AM or i think its only me..i bunked on the sofa even though i got the room. personal reasons.. i dun wanna sleep in another guy's room for now anyway even though its nothing. it just unearth painful memories and also sumwhat of a phobia.

so Ah Seng aka Faith aka small boy (hm..if ppl dun know must think he's really small size..lol..he's freaking tall for a young kid like him!) lol..and me and james even he's not considered sleeping slept in the living room. james is more like sentinel..lol. armed with Mein's jacket, pillow ( he gave, i din curi! T_T) mein's blanket..(wah..macam Mein's item ambassador like that..lol) and also..Ck's blanket ( i ve only notice when i woke up) i embrace the dawn's cold. it was super warm..but they were freezin their butts off..LOL ( cant help but laugh at this since Mein was complaining)im a sadist..but Guys, ur hospitality was AWESOME thank you all so much..i felt better.

woke up by james at 7am. groggily sat and chat with him about things. opened that wound again. but after that conversation, i felt much better now. sigh* eventually, time will heals itself, but as Kee Aun say Scars will form even if time heals the wound but i shall endure it. then say all goodbyes, i headed back to campus and showered and get ready for class.. fyi, i slept thru the whole lecture, and the lecturer himself said, " im sorry if my lecture is boring, i hope the next chapter that im presenting would be more interesting.." well.. not at all..! LOL

-ilnimf-

Monday, October 20, 2008

dota championships.

sum cc near semenyih near my uni had dota championship tournament..lol...and me and a bunch of frens went to see our group of frens play.

so chun weh...lol...i wish i could play like that..our frens made it into the finals and im happy for them...=)

last time they played with me and my frens..they trashed us kau kau without even concentrating..LOL..

nid to improve...LOL..

i made a lil promise to myself..im playing next year...=P

and at least win one game. =P

alice, shi wei? are you with me??? bwahahaahahahah..... >_<

Saturday, October 18, 2008

drank and drove

upset.

i cant stand it anymore, drop by at 7 eleven, desperate for alcohol. bought and went back room and drank while listening to songs. then i DROVE.

i drove out to tts 5. cried and blur. missed a turn to tts 5.emo there with a bunch of frens.

then wanna dota, but to late.. talk to them. but reveal nothin to them.

then wait for jac to come back then drove back to uni.

found this in ash's blog..=)

Your Type is
ESFJ
Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Strength of the preferences %
33 1 38 11


Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:
moderately expressed extravert

slightly expressed sensing personality

moderately expressed feeling personality

slightly expressed judging personality

tagged by Joe.

1. What's the relationship of you and her/him ?

he's my primary skool fren. one of my close frens that i yam cha and drink aso..eh..so long dy..lets meet up weh. =/

2. Your 5 impressions towards her/him ?

always help ppl until forgets self, value frenship alot, nice, outgoing, raja rempit! lol...


3. The most memorable things she/he have said to you

"dun fucking think about him anymore la"

4. The most memorable things she/he had done for you

go out yam cha with me when im totally emoing..and drive me and wayne go clubbing on the way listening to Jason Mraz..LOL..love that moment while im make up-ing in the car..lol

5. If she/he became your lover, you will..

ask him to fucking stop smoking. =) i dont kiss faggots.

6. If she/he become your enemy, you will..

dun think i can be enemy towards this guy =)


7. If she/he become your lover, she/he has to improve on..

no smoking, care more bout himself abit more.

8. If she/he become your enemy, the reason is..

coz he, coz he..duno..LOL

9. The most desirable thing to do on him/her is ?

take all his ciggies and burn it.

10. The overall impression of him/her is...

helpful, but he ar..must learn how to enjoy life..think positive. they are many ppl hu love and care about him very much. like us! rite wayne? =)

11. How do you think the people around you feel about you ?

im very tempermental. they feel frustrated all the time i think. sorry ppl..

12. The character of you for yourself is ?

the corpse bride. yea..the dead bride.

13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is ?

self destruct when sumthin good happened. very persimist type of ppl.

14. The most ideal person that you wanna be is ?

Jesus. wa..far from it weh..but..then..he's the man, man.

15. For the people who care about you and likes you, say something about them.

i duno why u all still can tahan me. im such a bitch and asshole all the time. they are the most geng ppl that i know..coz they can tahan me. T_T

Ten people to tag [according to alphabetical order following my link list]

1. Alice
2. Rachel Law
3. Shi Wei
4. Swee Loo
5. Jonan
6. Ivy
7. Jezamine
8. Yaw Kwan
9. Celestia
10. Jhen


Who is no.2 having a relationship with ?

Edwin lo...lol...=)
happy la..both aso my gd frens..


No.3 is a male or female ?

she's my babe =P

If no.7 and no.10 were together, would it be a good thing ?

wa...tim will kill her..lol..anyway..if in frens term...sure talk alot wan..


How about no.5 and no.8 ?

wa..gays meh..duwan la..>_< yaw kwan gf will kill him..lol

What is no.1 studying about?

FAM..LOL...finance, accounting and management.

Is no.4 single ?

duno...maybe?

Say something about no.6 ?

hey ivy...! mwiss you..wan go shopping and gurl talk? =)i nid ice cream.. =D

Monday, October 13, 2008

Raleigh Kuala Lumpur

hmm...i must be crazy.

thurs is my last day of class. friday i went for Raleigh Kuala Lumpur Intro Weekend as a staff member, helping out by facililating some of the games. it was awesome but tiring. challenging and frustrating but worth while. =)

i met so many diff types of ppl. Observing them was my hobby. God is really the greatest designer. =)

sunday came back, all tired and dirty. din even have time to go back and sleep at my own bed in my house then have to shower, pack and drive back to Nottingham. =/

during the time, i did not notice that my ankle was swollen until the second day. i had water retention in my leg and it was numb and irritating as i cant move as fast as i can. =/ i also did cut my finger while cooking in the jungle. LOL.
now my fourth finger on my right hand, the knife cut through the nail. so i din play frisbee for this week. aww...T_T

i got attached to Frisbee and the people. i like them alot, thats why i keep hanging out with them. =)

so far ive sign up for frisbee on monday, basketball on tues, Christian Fellowship on weds, thurs is for myslf and my frens...DOTA. LOL..basketball aso if i havent go back. =)

assignments alot..! 3 assignments are all individual work..and one group work..! sigh..self control very much needed. >_<

and not to mention other activities like raleigh and youth.

busy busy busy..>_< but its good. so i dun nid to think so much on other things..hm.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

heart of glass.


pain as it is.

it canot compare the pain that came from my heart.
how fragile the heart is! it felt like breaking.

it was me holding the glass. i dropped it. it smashed to the ground.
i tried to pick up the pieces. i cut my hand one by one. painfully picking up every single one.

melt it. to try to form a new one. try to give it to you.
with a glance, you took it and smash it again.
this time, its was not only yours that was broken. i was mine too.

im sorry although apologies are not a cure for mistakes,
it cannot change situations, but i pray that it would change your mind.
i could only pray for forgiveness.
i respect your current decisions. so i am leavin everything to God.

doctor.

last chance. dad orders.

i have to go to the doctor..lol

when to the doctor. for those who did not know, i was having really bad fever..39.8celcius..

when the doctor told me, i was laughing. then i had an injection.

app i was suspected to have denggi. pray that i dont have. hope not.

need to wait for my fever to subside. how many brain cells have i burnt?hope not that much. =/

two more days, if i still have fever, i nid to have blood test. argh..i hate blood.