Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Aspire to be

Things that i want to do:

1. school of acts
2. filming documentaries of our heritage with Pink and other ppl who wants to join
3. go to Japan ( with UNMC Japanese Society)
4. become a buyer

Saturday, September 11, 2010

new house..

Phew, busy week..

I'm in the process of packing my stuffs to my new house in Notts, and my new permanent house in KL.

i realize how many books ive own..lol..

6 big boxes just for my BOOKS. not yet my clothes and other misc.

i found many unsent letters, some long lost letters, cards, notes..brings back so much memories.

i mean, i've been living in this house since i was 2. so suddenly, my parents bought a new house and i'm shifting, like a few hundred meters away aka 10 mins drive from my original house. (sweat right?)

and i haven't even seen my house that i'm moving into..talk about random.

All i need in that is new in the new room is..

1. BOOKSHELFS ! (notice the S?)
2. build-in Cupboard (stronger, the last time it broke because it couldn't stand the weight..)
3. table
4. bed

erm..im gonna make my room lilac, white and apple pastel green. =)

Friday, August 13, 2010


i just realize, that if i could pass the resits, I've only have 1 more year in uni..GOSH!

so i ve a few goals to accomplish during my last year in uni!

1. graduate! LOL..
2. wear anything i like regardless what ppl would say!
3. get back my athletic body!
4. explore my other talents..( DOTA, MUSiC)
5. figure what im gonna do after i graduate!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

no mood.

things i want to do:

play squash.
punch punching bag.

instead of stuck here in the library.

i feel like im a nerd. a-not-so-smart-nerd.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

things that i like.

1. books
I love books. I love them hardcover, and i also love them in paperbacks. I love their smell, new or old. I love them plain, so i could tell stories to them through pictures and words, secrets that are poured from my heart and soul, imprint them, immortalize them into the books like tattoos on skin.
I also love them to be storytellers, bring me to the places that i have never been and never will be. They are my teachers, they are my friends. They are not like mortal teachers, who are loud and repeating, they only repeat when and where u want them to repeat. They are friends that could company me, and i could find them comforting and friendly even if i didnt see them for a very long time.
The very first book I've ever picked up was a encyclopedia. i was 3 years old. it made me want to learn how to read so i could understand that book. i have 5 sets of encyclopedia. =) I collect notebooks, plain or with lines. i love the smell of notebooks, for they have different smells compare to storybooks, because of the inking. one of my dream jobs is to be a illustrator, so that my drawings could help bring out or emphasize the message in the book.

2. art
I love arts. all forms of art, performance art, and pieces of art. i used to bore my friends and family because of art. i would want to sit in art galleries and spend hours just to stare at pictures. i love the smell of oil paints and other paints. i love the textures, i love the colours and i love to interpret the pictures. i wish to travel around europe, just to visit their galleries and museums.

3. history
I love old stuffs, wont exactly want to be there, but to discover what happened last time that made of today. i like to study mythology, and social anthropology. if i am not born in Malaysia, i would cont my studies on these subjects, but because of the narrow school systems, i would have pursue in these fields.

i'm weird, arent i?
as though i should be born before the 19th century.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Psalms 121:1-2

I don't want a dead end.

I want to live. I want to survive. I want to face my mountains. I will face it. With the LORD as my strength.

No one will bring me down. If I am down, I will move back up. I am moving towards my prize. It may be slow and strenuous but I know its worth it.

pic: courtesy of dancingwithfools.wordpress.com/2009/05/

I lift my eyes on the hills, Where does my help comes from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of Heaven and earth.
Psalms 121: 1-2

Sunday, May 9, 2010

His Glory Appears by Hillsong

You gave me hope
You made me whole
At the cross
You took my place
You showed me grace
At the cross where You died for me

And His glory appears
Like the light from the sun
Age to age He shines
Look to the skies
Hear the angels cry
Singing Holy is the Lord

while i was walking alone, i stumble upon this song.
then i went to tiscra just to find the lyrics and also to do my work..

minus one paper, 5 more to go.

today, when i was on my way to examination hall, i walked back and forth just because i forgotten my calculator, then buy milk, then buy milk again, then go back coz forgotten to take my pen.

then stumble upon Zoe, prayed for me, in the morning, Wei Ern prayed for me, Before sleeping Wei Ern prayed with me.

I have the feeling, (duh) that God knows i have doubt in my heart.
after not contacting Him for so long, Its hard, but i know with His strength in me, i'm an overcomer.

Dear Lord,

You know my heart,
You know my pain and suffering,
You search my heart,
All You found was emptiness,
I know You are able and willing,
You heal the sick, blind and raise the dead,
You know how I am feeling,
All the feeling of hate,
disgust and seething,
You will take it away,
Take it far from my heart,
Let not me sway,
Sway like a sad wind,
Blowing across river Quay,
Dear Lord, please hear my prayer,
May prayer that i can forgive,
And be forgiven.

There's pain still in my heart,
Bitterness from people who does not believe in me,
Who do not understand.

Disappointments after disappointments,
bitterness after bitterness,
i will not let them swallow me,
in to the darkness.

Dear Lord,

Hear my prayer,
Save my soul,
Save my life,
I shall give it to You for safekeeping,
For You are the one that i'd only trust.

O God,
My Saviour,
Righteous Judge,
My Sovereign Lord,
You know the truth,
and may the truth bring me out from the darkness,
that Your light will reveal,
reveal to the unbelievers,
the people who find their own faults in me.

O Lord,
You are my comfort,
You gave me grace and mercy,
Without those,
I wouldn't even be here,
God of mercy,
Cover me in with Your Grace,
that I may rest in Your arms,
sleep in Your bosom,
never to cry anymore.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Children's imagination turns reality =)

this whole post is taken from this site..http://www.designboom.com/weblog/cat/10/view/3381/recreating-childrens-drawing-by-yeondoo-jung.html

it features all these kinda superb funny and even sparked some nostalgic moments...

reminded me of the pictures ive drawn when i was a kid..

this guy, YeonDoo, he recreated these kids drawing into reality, pretty cool, take a look at some pics...some on this post taken via designerboom.com.

'the magician turned the wale into a flower', 2004

'he didnt sleep for three days', 2004

'sleeping beauty',2004

'red riding hood',2004

and this is by far, my favourite..=)

'afternoon nap',2004


Thursday, February 18, 2010

Changing times.

looking at the years gone by, i think im growing more insecure more than ever.

see my girlfrens, i get happy but most of the time i get sad coz everyone is getting prettier but im getting not prettier? im the same old me after all these years. its not that im unhappy because of my frens getting prettier, its because i didnt change at all. except for my hairstyle. lol..

im still grabbing into the past. but there's nothing left for me in the past, i just want to move on. like lil dandelions flying out from their stalks. i want to fly as high n far as possible without looking back. i want to MOVE on. but somewhat is as though my feet is cemented on the ground.

(photo by Sangel99, deviantart)

just want to lie on the grass, looking at the trees changing colours, facing the sky, whispering to God of all my troubles, and blow them away like i blow the dandelions away from their stalks.

so many worries and troubles come my way. am i the cause of it?
i should be, but am i to settle it? dying's no use, cause EVEn more trouble.
fade away? well, ppl will ask. its more like attention seeking than ever.


Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Mabel Kuan is trying to deny herself, picking up the Cross even though it sometimes its so heavy, stumbling to following the Author of Love.

God has blessed me with so many many things in my life, i don't know where to start.

He has given me responsibilities that i've never known i could do, frankly, without His help, i confidently say i couldn't. He was like a pillow to me, granting me rest when i need the most. He never and will not ever leave me. He is making miracles in UNMC CF. i believe God has prepare each Christians in UNMC for something great. i can feel it, but i still cant see it coz God has not revealed it entirely yet. Its so excited!

Yet, even outwardly i am wasting away, i felt like inwardly i am being renewed day by day by Him, i thank Him again. He gave me amazing emotional strength to go on despite problems that i am facing and He is rebuilding my relationship with my family. Its a great improvement for me.


do not give up in anything that you are trying to do. even sometimes you felt lonely and tired, always remember that the Lord is always with you no matter what. whatever things that you had done, its not too big for His mercy and love. He is Grace, He is love. He knows and He still loves. Never underestimate His ability to love.


i apologised for not being a example to everyone as a christian. i know i failed in many ways. i am sorry that i cause people to stumble because of my ways. Old habits are hard to die, but they don't mean that they don't die, its just abit harder that usual. grant me patience and self-control, by God's grace, i pray that i could be more like Him.

May the Grace of God, the Love of Jesus Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with You all.

Friday, October 2, 2009

New Sem for Year 2.

heyheyhey..Year 2 is here!

im really happy that i get to go back to uni and meet my frens and meet New frens and everything...buttt....sigh, its gonna be hectic!

then now i cant really spend much time with my other frens who is not from uni anymore...

i need to choose which optional module and fast!...sigh...

i need to lose my fats..seriously.

i have to keep track on what ive spend...sigh...

growing up is such a pain in the ass.

Monday, August 17, 2009

haha, gurls are seriously special.

Surfing along the internet and the facebook, of course i kinda notice sumthin.

although alot of gurls would actually disagree with me, i dun mind coz this wont apply to everyone. its just my personal view.
the gurls that i've observed are randomly selected and not spesificly mention, just generally, if anyone of u are offended, i am truly sorry, i dont mean to hurt anyone.

i found out that alot of gurls that ive met long time ago when they were single, they were hard, fierce ( not the fierce angry cat fierce) but more to determination kinda fierce, the kind of energy that the emit a kind of passion that they need to succeed in accomplishing sumthin in their own life. after a few years, when everyone has their own thing to do, meeting back them through fb or face to face, i've notice some of them has been refined, more subtle, more ladylike, and most of all, more sexier, as they had discover they could move a person's heart by their looks. alot of them did not notice, or havent discover the power or some say 'talent' in them. when i talk to most of them, i felt so happy for them..esp for those who told me that they couldnt find the other half to share their life with, but hey, life is still along way to go, and im happy for those who already found sumone that love them as much as a human could, and accept them for who they are, regardless of their attitude, looks and personality. Loving sumone or accepting the love from someone else makes a person shine, because they felt appreciated i guess. and i've seen their pretty faces smile while mentioning that special person that they had in mind, it automatically makes me smile too.=)

for the rest of the gurls that havent..take note ( HAVENT, not NEVER) lol..embrace your life with joy and gladness because that's what will attract the right guys at the right time. having a person to share your life could be awesome, but being with yourself and take time to discover who you really are is even more enlightening. i took the time off for a year and ive discover amazing things about myself, and i thought that i knew myself more than anyone, spend time with God and having a awesome time to know more about His Majesty is the time that i rediscover myself more than anything. Take a break from everything and just relax and talk to Him is enough for a whole session of physcotherapy. lol..trust me, coz He is Your creator, and He knows your deepest darkest secrets, your greatest fear and your hopes and dreams. the most awesome thing is, He knows everything AND He still wants You to be His beloved daughter. Nothing can separate You and Him but Your own decision, whether to accept Him then He will take away everything that hurts you, or you would just be back at square one? Will you open to Him with His open arms or are you sticking urself back to that hellhole? i dont know about you but i think the 1st suggestion is much nicer..lol.

and when the right time comes, (when is the Right time?) i dont know, He knows, (impatient?) pray for patience, in a meanwhile, do sumthin that you love and dont worry, life is too short for so much worrying. Be confident and smile even when the world gives you shit at times, but if there were no shits, then you wont know that ur living in this sick sick world..lol.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Champagne Supernova-Oasis

One of my current favourite songs.

How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky
Wake up the dawn and ask her why
A dreamer dreams, she never dies
Wipe that tear away now from your eye
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova
'Cuz we don't believe
That they're gonna get away from the summer
But you and I will never die
The world's still spinning around we don't know why
(guitar solo)
How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova
'Cuz we don't believe
That they're gonna get away from the summer
But you and I will never die
The world's still spinning around we don't know why
(a really long guitar solo)
(background - sounds like a bunch of "No"'s)
(birds chirping)
(more guitar)
How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
We were getting high <-- 9 times, background "Oooh-oooh"
(Fades out 7th-9th times to just one "Oooh-oooh")
(Song gets really quiet, fades to a peaceful guitar solo.)

Saturday, August 15, 2009


i realise how fragile a life is.

like a rose, beautiful yet fragile.

a reminder for people that complaints about how bad life is, including myself sometimes, that there is more to life than just complaints.

live for a purpose, set a purpose and you will know why God place you here for a special reason.

a smile to a random stranger could even change his ways or thoughts, smile is infectious, in a very good way. =)

learn to appreciate simple things in life, take a break and watch flower weeds growing at the side of the roads, wondering at even that harsh of a condiiton, it still finds a way to bloom despite its circumstances.

learn to love the people that you find the hardest to love, because those are the people that needs more love than ever.

if you're missing sumone badly that had left this world, be glad because they are watching you from above.

dreams are blueprints for extraordinary things that have yet to happen.

live to love and likewise, love to live, not knowing when we would leave this world.

learn to appreciate the people around you, dont take things for granted, dun leave spaces for regrets.

Monday, August 3, 2009

rest in peace, Gary Leon Robert.

facebook is sure useful. somewhat..

most of the time, facebook tells us who's with who, who went where, who went out with who, all the happy happy stuffs..oh, sumtimes it has who broke up with who and sad stuffs like that..but who would want to have a post or a link post saying that your friend had passed away?

after a long tired day, i received a very shocking news.

a dear friend of mine, her brother had passed away.
its just too shocking. far too shocking. 22 years old, no sickness, was running for a adidas event, king of the road. collaspe, then missing, found dead at the stadium basement.


it just make me realise how fragile this life could be.

he is just 22 years old, a whole life ahead of him, a bright future.

i hope there's more investigation follow-up on his case.

May God continue to bless her family with Strength and courage to handle this situation. O Lord, please grant them peace and let Your presence be known to them. Lord, You are a justice God, and he is your son. Please grant the officers the wisdom to handle this situation. May Your hands be apon those that is involved. In Jesus name i pray, Amen.