Aspire to be

Things that i want to do:

1. school of acts
2. filming documentaries of our heritage with Pink and other ppl who wants to join
3. go to Japan ( with UNMC Japanese Society)
4. become a buyer

new house..

Phew, busy week..

I'm in the process of packing my stuffs to my new house in Notts, and my new permanent house in KL.

i realize how many books ive own..lol..

6 big boxes just for my BOOKS. not yet my clothes and other misc.

i found many unsent letters, some long lost letters, cards, notes..brings back so much memories.

i mean, i've been living in this house since i was 2. so suddenly, my parents bought a new house and i'm shifting, like a few hundred meters away aka 10 mins drive from my original house. (sweat right?)

and i haven't even seen my house that i'm moving into..talk about random.

All i need in that is new in the new room is..

1. BOOKSHELFS ! (notice the S?)
2. build-in Cupboard (stronger, the last time it broke because it couldn't stand the weight..)
3. table
4. bed

erm..im gonna make my room lilac, white and apple pastel green. =)

Woot!

i just realize, that if i could pass the resits, I've only have 1 more year in uni..GOSH!

so i ve a few goals to accomplish during my last year in uni!

1. graduate! LOL..
2. wear anything i like regardless what ppl would say!
3. get back my athletic body!
4. explore my other talents..( DOTA, MUSiC)
5. figure what im gonna do after i graduate!

no mood.

things i want to do:

swim.
play squash.
punch punching bag.
sit-ups.
push-ups.

instead of stuck here in the library.

i feel like im a nerd. a-not-so-smart-nerd.

sigh.

things that i like.

1. books
I love books. I love them hardcover, and i also love them in paperbacks. I love their smell, new or old. I love them plain, so i could tell stories to them through pictures and words, secrets that are poured from my heart and soul, imprint them, immortalize them into the books like tattoos on skin.
I also love them to be storytellers, bring me to the places that i have never been and never will be. They are my teachers, they are my friends. They are not like mortal teachers, who are loud and repeating, they only repeat when and where u want them to repeat. They are friends that could company me, and i could find them comforting and friendly even if i didnt see them for a very long time.
The very first book I've ever picked up was a encyclopedia. i was 3 years old. it made me want to learn how to read so i could understand that book. i have 5 sets of encyclopedia. =) I collect notebooks, plain or with lines. i love the smell of notebooks, for they have different smells compare to storybooks, because of the inking. one of my dream jobs is to be a illustrator, so that my drawings could help bring out or emphasize the message in the book.

2. art
I love arts. all forms of art, performance art, and pieces of art. i used to bore my friends and family because of art. i would want to sit in art galleries and spend hours just to stare at pictures. i love the smell of oil paints and other paints. i love the textures, i love the colours and i love to interpret the pictures. i wish to travel around europe, just to visit their galleries and museums.

3. history
I love old stuffs, wont exactly want to be there, but to discover what happened last time that made of today. i like to study mythology, and social anthropology. if i am not born in Malaysia, i would cont my studies on these subjects, but because of the narrow school systems, i would have pursue in these fields.

i'm weird, arent i?
as though i should be born before the 19th century.

Psalms 121:1-2

I don't want a dead end.

I want to live. I want to survive. I want to face my mountains. I will face it. With the LORD as my strength.

No one will bring me down. If I am down, I will move back up. I am moving towards my prize. It may be slow and strenuous but I know its worth it.


pic: courtesy of dancingwithfools.wordpress.com/2009/05/

I lift my eyes on the hills, Where does my help comes from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of Heaven and earth.
Psalms 121: 1-2

His Glory Appears by Hillsong

You gave me hope
You made me whole
At the cross
You took my place
You showed me grace
At the cross where You died for me


And His glory appears
Like the light from the sun
Age to age He shines
Look to the skies
Hear the angels cry
Singing Holy is the Lord


while i was walking alone, i stumble upon this song.
then i went to tiscra just to find the lyrics and also to do my work..

minus one paper, 5 more to go.

today, when i was on my way to examination hall, i walked back and forth just because i forgotten my calculator, then buy milk, then buy milk again, then go back coz forgotten to take my pen.

then stumble upon Zoe, prayed for me, in the morning, Wei Ern prayed for me, Before sleeping Wei Ern prayed with me.

I have the feeling, (duh) that God knows i have doubt in my heart.
after not contacting Him for so long, Its hard, but i know with His strength in me, i'm an overcomer.

Dear Lord,

You know my heart,
You know my pain and suffering,
You search my heart,
All You found was emptiness,
I know You are able and willing,
You heal the sick, blind and raise the dead,
You know how I am feeling,
All the feeling of hate,
disgust and seething,
You will take it away,
Take it far from my heart,
Let not me sway,
Sway like a sad wind,
Blowing across river Quay,
Dear Lord, please hear my prayer,
May prayer that i can forgive,
And be forgiven.


There's pain still in my heart,
Bitterness from people who does not believe in me,
Who do not understand.

Disappointments after disappointments,
bitterness after bitterness,
i will not let them swallow me,
in to the darkness.

Dear Lord,

Hear my prayer,
Save my soul,
Save my life,
I shall give it to You for safekeeping,
For You are the one that i'd only trust.

O God,
My Saviour,
Righteous Judge,
My Sovereign Lord,
You know the truth,
and may the truth bring me out from the darkness,
that Your light will reveal,
reveal to the unbelievers,
the people who find their own faults in me.

O Lord,
You are my comfort,
You gave me grace and mercy,
Without those,
I wouldn't even be here,
God of mercy,
Cover me in with Your Grace,
that I may rest in Your arms,
sleep in Your bosom,
never to cry anymore.

Children's imagination turns reality =)

this whole post is taken from this site..http://www.designboom.com/weblog/cat/10/view/3381/recreating-childrens-drawing-by-yeondoo-jung.html

it features all these kinda superb funny and even sparked some nostalgic moments...

reminded me of the pictures ive drawn when i was a kid..

this guy, YeonDoo, he recreated these kids drawing into reality, pretty cool, take a look at some pics...some on this post taken via designerboom.com.


'the magician turned the wale into a flower', 2004


'he didnt sleep for three days', 2004


'sleeping beauty',2004


'red riding hood',2004

and this is by far, my favourite..=)

'afternoon nap',2004

Via:

Changing times.

looking at the years gone by, i think im growing more insecure more than ever.

see my girlfrens, i get happy but most of the time i get sad coz everyone is getting prettier but im getting not prettier? im the same old me after all these years. its not that im unhappy because of my frens getting prettier, its because i didnt change at all. except for my hairstyle. lol..



im still grabbing into the past. but there's nothing left for me in the past, i just want to move on. like lil dandelions flying out from their stalks. i want to fly as high n far as possible without looking back. i want to MOVE on. but somewhat is as though my feet is cemented on the ground.



(photo by Sangel99, deviantart)

just want to lie on the grass, looking at the trees changing colours, facing the sky, whispering to God of all my troubles, and blow them away like i blow the dandelions away from their stalks.

so many worries and troubles come my way. am i the cause of it?
i should be, but am i to settle it? dying's no use, cause EVEn more trouble.
fade away? well, ppl will ask. its more like attention seeking than ever.

how?