deafening silence.

the word love is a overkill word.

help. i'm lost. i need help. who can save me? im goin crazy..thoughts swimming in my mind...refuse to go..hatred is hidden deep inside my so..so deep it hurts..ppl think that im ok..independent..rich..capable...but u noe what ...all of it that u guys see outside of me is utterly fake.u dont want to be in my shoes...u think its fun to be kuan pei wern?u think that i am..of those above..yea rite...im not alright...im confused..what do u want..what do i want? do i sound like some derange woman typing..? i duno..i felt like one now..no wonder no one likes me at all... all of them were faking..wearing masks...faking...the world is fake...kiss ass world..u got sumthin..will talk to u nicely n sweetly..if u nid help..hell!fuck off.thats whta most of them say in their mind anyway.what love? u mean those ppl hu gets all nice to u to get back sumthin in order...what? popularity? sex? money? status? company?anyway..people would think that way..but not all..but most.ur not pretty..so ppl dont give a fuck unless u are kick ass pretty. special treatment by guys? yea...unless ur not fuckingly ugly. no..i refuse to use the word fugly. its just fuckingly ugly. guys? the guy that i am in love with left me and wont be coming back.useless me, why am i still thinking bout him when he was the one that dont even want me? i see him almost every week, can one person go nuts like that? he is the only one that can hurt me without doin anything..i found out that i love him more than anything..but so what? its no use. he's not coming back.what? other guys?im tired of other guys..what they want..im tired of those. want my heart..here..and dont forget to ripped it open after u've used it. what? my body..?sorry i dont sell my body but u can get it somebody else body with a price in chow kit road..what? what more do u want..?they also have the same body as i have to stuck whtever u want in order to satisfy urslves. its always the same thing with those guys. but other type of guys? u just want some decent gurl..guai guai..V, and what else? fair gurl..big eye..what else? super gurly to 'teh' wit..what else? its always all these qualities..hello? have u ever heard of the words like original? Unique? gurls like me? dark, not pretty, sarcastic, rude( if u are too me),not smart..have no place in this world. so better just put me into a box and let me rot? the world's a better place without me right? wait..the world dont even know i exist..why i am here? Lord...im so lost...